“There is no compulsion in religion (Islam)”
(Al-Qur’an 2:256)
1. Have correct knowledge and understanding of being a Muslim
In Islam, being a Muslim does not depend on being born into it, being of Malay ethnicity, following one’s parents’ religion, or even marrying a Muslim. Being a Muslim rests on the true state of faith within that person’s heart — that is, one who testifies that Allah SWT is God and that the Prophet Muhammad SAW is the Messenger of God. Being a Muslim therefore depends on whether, at this present moment, we still hold onto that state of faith and that relationship or not. Conversely, if a person does not hold this faith, then that person is not a Muslim, even if they dress as one. Leaving Islam, then, is not about other people, but about the relationship between you and Allah SWT — it requires no witness and no one’s endorsement, just as when you entered Islam, no one’s endorsement was required either.
2. Have knowledge and understanding of leaving Islam gracefully
When it comes to entering or leaving Islam, Islam has laid down the foundation that this matter does not need to rely on any other human being — you simply need to settle your own thoughts calmly, and that is enough. However, leaving Islam in a social and legal sense is a separate matter, since being a Muslim, like followers of other religions, is bound up with social life — matters such as funeral arrangements upon death, inheritance, arrangements concerning children, spouse, family, and so on. Therefore the process of leaving Islam, on its social side, needs proper steps taken, with the relevant people informed, and communication handled in a way that keeps everything smooth and prevents matters from escalating.
3. Focus on good communication and not hurting one another’s feelings
What often leads to mistakes and turmoil when leaving Islam is trading insults back and forth over the change of religion. From the exchanges I’ve had the chance to observe, some who leave Islam decide to do so because of bad experiences with moral teaching rooted in local culture. However, the Islamic teachings commonly practiced in society come partly from local culture, partly from personal viewpoints, partly from village institutions, and partly from a wide range of sources — and even though Muslims themselves may insist that this information is correct, in reality even the details of how to pray are not entirely consistent from one place to another. So once you have left Islam, there is no need to display hatred, because sometimes the very thing you resent may simply be a misunderstanding arising from the particular version of Islamic principle commonly practiced in that society.
4. Handle your paperwork properly once you have decided to leave Islam
Make sure to inform others not merely by word of mouth, but through proper handling of documentation — updating your ID card, writing clear letters and confirming documents covering matters such as funeral arrangements, children, and other affairs — so that the people around you, and those left behind after you pass away, can carry things out appropriately according to the wishes of the person who has left Islam.
5. Even after no longer being a Muslim, continue to honor one another
Knowledge in this vast world is such that we may think we understand fully, yet we may only know one part of it. So there is no need for us to take our own understanding of life and our own circumstances and use it to accuse or malign other communities around us that we have never actually experienced. Manners are a basic moral foundation shared by both the religious and the non-religious; a lack of manners reflects a failure to keep our own base desires from being imposed on others. Once you have decided to leave Islam, please leave peacefully and with mutual respect — doing so will prevent turmoil from arising in society, and you will be able to live the life you want without being troubled by unpleasant people.
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