A wedding invitation card is the piece of paper carrying the important information needed to invite guests to attend on the set date, time, and venue. The essential information that a card must include therefore consists of:
- The host(s) of the event
- The bride and groom
- Date, time, and venue
- The format of the ceremony
That’s the main information. The next set of information, of secondary importance, is:
- The presiding officiant
- The catering/reception format
- The event color theme
- Wedding tag
- QR code and other items
The purpose of this information on the card is to give guests all the essential basic information in full, so that the event runs smoothly.
Today, in wedding coach ep4, we’ll dig deeper into one particularly sensitive piece of information on the card: the “host information.”
Under normal custom, if neither the bride’s nor the groom’s parents have passed away and there has been no divorce, both sets of parents’ names are listed, with the father’s name usually listed first, as is typical. But in cases where a parent has passed away or the parents are divorced, how should we list these names? I’ve summarized this into the following points.
If both parents are still alive and living together as a normal family
– List both of their names on the card, with the father’s name listed first.
If one parent has passed away, choose one of the following options
1. Do not list the name of the parent who has passed away; list only the name of the parent who is still living, such as the mother or the father.
2. Do not list the name of the parent who has passed away, and list another elder’s name on the card instead, such as the grandmother, for example.
3. List the name on the card but in parentheses note (deceased) or (rahimahullah) alongside the name of the living parent, with the name of the deceased parent placed after.
If both parents have passed away, choose one of the following options
1. List the name of another elder on the card instead, such as the grandmother or an older sister, for example.
2. If there are several elders and it’s difficult to choose, but they share the same family surname as co-hosts, you can use the phrase “The xxx Family,” for example.
If the parents are separated/divorced choose one of the following options
1. List both names together, after checking with both sets of elders for their comfort with this.
2. If both sets of elders do not want their names listed together, make separate cards for each side. In cases where the bride or groom has changed their name, ask the elders (parents) first whether they are comfortable with it.
That covers the basic handling for cases where a host has passed away or the parents are divorced.
However, there is another sensitive point that we cannot overlook: cases where the bride or groom has changed their name or taken a new name, such as a couple where one has newly reverted to/embraced Islam and comes from a different-religion family. Putting the new name on the card requires care and an understanding of the sensitivity involved as well.
If we plan to put the new name on the card, choose one of the following options
1. Use the new name only.
2. Use the old name, with the new name in parentheses.
3. Make separate cards, one with the old name and one with the new name.
Which name to use ultimately depends on discussion within both families.
This is more in-depth information on writing the details on your card. I hope this ep4 will be useful for everyone planning a wedding. For any bride or groom with questions, feel free to consult Bung Joke, Arayawedding Specialist, about making cards. We’ll also have a tool to make this easier — see you next episode.
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